Like any muscle, willpower can only hold out for so long. Eventually, it gives out, often leaving you feeling defeated.
But here’s the thing: Willpower doesn’t work—at least not for making lasting changes.
While it may help in the short term, willpower isn’t reliable for long-term success. Every day, you face decisions that test your resolve:
- Should you order the fish ‘n’ chips or the grilled salmon?
- Go to bed at a decent hour or catch the latest episode of your favorite show?
- Head to the gym after work or go straight home?
Every choice that conflicts with your immediate desires drains your willpower, making it harder to stick to your goals over time.
So, if you can’t rely on willpower, what can you do?
The truth is, people who seem to have endless self-control don’t depend on willpower at all. Instead, they create systems, routines, and environments that support their goals, reducing the need for constant decision-making. Here’s how you can do the same:
1. Change Your Environment
Your surroundings play a huge role in shaping your habits. For example, I know I need to limit my time at my parents’ house. Don’t get me wrong—I love them—but sitting around a table filled with highly processed foods that contributed to my 204-pound self growing up isn’t an ideal scenario for anyone wanting to lead a more healthy lifestyle.
By spending less time in environments that challenge my healthy lifestyle, I set myself up for success.
You may not be able to overhaul your environment entirely, but small changes can make a big difference:
- Provide and share your food: If you’re trying to eat more nutrient-dense foods, stock your fridge with pre-cut veggies, fruits, and easy-to-reheat meals. Then share these healthy snacks and meals with those you love. A veggie-dense charcuterie board is always my contribution at gatherings.
- Make less nutrient-dense foods less accessible: I’m all about balance, so I keep ice cream, chips and more in my house… but I put these items out of sight and often forget they’re there. When something requires more effort or isn’t right in front of you at all times, you’re less likely to indulge.
- Set yourself up for success: Want to exercise more? Pay for a class in advance—you’ll be motivated to show up so you don’t lose your money.
- Rethink your social circle: If friends or family encourage unhealthy habits, limit your time with them or suggest meeting in settings that support your goals… like grabbing a coffee and taking a walk versus sitting in a coffee shop.
Changing your environment is one of the easiest ways to change who you can be.
2. Challenge Yourself
Just like pressure turns coal into diamonds, challenges can help you grow into the best version of yourself.
When I decided to start running, I signed up (and paid for!) a 10k race. At the time, I’d never run consistently, and I was terrified of failing. But the thought of not being prepared for race day pushed me to lace up my sneakers and start training.
Not ready to tackle a big race? Start small:
- Find an accountability partner: Whether it’s a gym buddy, personal trainer or nutrition/health coach, having someone to answer to keeps you on track.
- Add external pressure: Schedule regular check-ins or set up rewards and consequences to keep yourself motivated.
A personal trainer and nutrition/health coach, for example, not only cheers you on but also guides and supports you through your journey. If that’s something you’re interested in, you’re just a click away from making it happen!
3. Make Change Fun
You’ll never stick with something you hate. If your new habits feel like a punishment, you’ll quickly revert to old patterns.
Instead, find ways to enjoy the process:
- If you want to exercise, pick activities you genuinely like—go for a hike, take a dance class, or try paddleboarding.
- If healthy eating feels boring, experiment with new recipes, sign-up for a cooking class or meal prep with friends to make it social and enjoyable.
When you associate positive feelings with your habits, they become something you look forward to, not something you force yourself to do.
The Bottom Line
The next time you’re frustrated with yourself for “not having enough willpower,” remember: it’s not about willpower. It’s about setting yourself up for success.
By changing your environment, challenging yourself, and making the process enjoyable, you can stop relying on willpower and start creating permanent, positive change in your life!
